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It's amyl nitrite and it's sold as "room deodorizer" or "video head cleaner" or some other preposterous bullshit like that.

Homosexuals love this stuff. Well, not all of them, but a lot of them. Especially bottoms! What it does is loosen up all the involuntary muscles like in the throat and anus so it's so much easier to get large objects pushed into them.

They also make you kind of dizzy and crazy and make every cell in your body scream, " I want to fuck right now " at the same time.

They're great. They also give me a headache and make me want to pass out. Whatever, that's the price you pay. See the discussion about "power bottom" above, except the difference is, Therefore, if you call us a cocksucker, it says something more about you than it does about us.

We love our cocks, we love to have them sucked, and we love to be the one doing the sucking. If you say "cocksucker" like it's a bad thing, your punishment should be to never have your cock sucked again.

But, yeah, go ahead and call us a cocksucker. That's sort of like calling Bill Gates "rich" and expecting him to get mad about it. You think gay people love Gaga?

You should hear when a Robyn song comes on at a gay bar. Then it is fucking over. You may think you know what we like, but you don't even know the half of it.

When homophobes always have a gay panic and say gay men "all want to have sex with me," someone will always tell them, "That's stupid.

We don't want to have sex with you. If he was hot, gay guys will want to have sex with him. I mean, that's just nature. Gay guys are attracted to hot guys, no matter of their orientation.

And if they're in the locker room or at the beach or even walking down the street, we're totally going to be checking them out.

Also, many gay guys think straight guys are even hotter because they're so naturally butch and hard to get. It's like straight guys' obsession with girl-on-girl action, but in reverse.

Falling in love with a straight guy is a difficult and painful trap that many gay men fall into as well, but we're not talking about that.

We're talking about just the lust. If they're hot, it's there—even for your boyfriend. What HRC and other gay rights groups would like to sell the straight public is that gay couples are just like straight married couples.

In many cases, they are. They are monogamous and have been together forever and raise their kids behind white picket fences.

What they don't want you to know is that many gay couples, though married, civilly unionized, or otherwise commonlaw are inviting guys over for threeways, playing around with other guys on the side, or engaged in all other sorts of sexual hijinks.

Yes, straight people have "swingers" but it seems like there is a stronger bent of "non-traditional arrangements" among the gays.

It might be because gay men are horny bastards and because we didn't have your fiendish and chaste preset relationship constructs until recently when straight people decided it was time to stop treating us like second class citizens.

Yeah, we may be married, but that doesn't mean we're dead or conforming to your rules. Straight guys always say, "It must be great to be gay because you can get laid any time.

We can get it anywhere, anytime. Straights might know about Manhunt and Grindr, but they may not know about the underwear parties, undergroup orgies, bath houses, cruisey public rest rooms, steam rooms, cottages, tea rooms, video stores, parks, glory holes, and other assorted nooks and crannies where gay guys will go in their most desperate and horniest moments.

Sure, a lot of this activity has moved online and subsequently into our homes, but there are still plenty of public sex to be had.

Aren't we lucky! Drag queens are great! Some of my best friends are drag queens, and some of them put on great shows. Nonsense, they said, as they formed an ironclad circle around Jordan to protect him.

He had found himself in this situation so many times before, and he knew when it was time to admit defeat. So Jordan took a breath, carefully unbuttoned his pants, and pulled out his penis.

The audience erupted, delighted to catch a front-row glimpse of the biggest penis in Newcastle. It was a legendary penis in the North East England town, and its owner had become a quasi-celebrity because of it.

In his 20s, Jordan ate up the attention, showing off his super-sized schlong to whoever wanted to see it—and as rumors spread, his crowds ballooned.

But Jordan was now pushing 40, and the novelty of being a carnival attraction had long worn off. Desperate to get on with the night, he instinctively swung his big penis around like a piece of rope—the usual act—and stuffed it back into his briefs.

The show was over. Or so he thought. Whatever will shut him up. But as soon as he brought his prized possession back out, the groupie grabbed it.

Jordan fell down and sprinted home. Within 10 minutes, his whole shaft—base to tip—was black and bruised, as if it had been through battle.

Flabbergasted, Jordan flocked to Facebook to post about his crazy encounter. Ten thousand miles across the Atlantic, his friend Jonah Falcon —himself the owner of an abnormally big penis, reportedly the biggest in the world—was the first to comment.

Per data in the Journal of Sexual Medicine , the average flaccid penis is somewhere between 3. Steixner says.

Todd measures 10 inches erect, Jordan one-ups him by about an inch, and Falcon boasts a whopping Being famous for having a big penis sounds pretty great, and to be fair, all of the guys we interviewed for this story have used their good fortune to their sexual advantage.

Falcon, for example, became a fixture in the horny NYC underground club scene thanks to his hog. In my 20s, I was like a kid in a candy store.

Compare that number to how much you have to carry the burdens of it around, and the sexual ratio is quite the minority. Take something as simple as riding a bike.

I end up just sitting on the thing. If I want to go for a nice ride in the country, the pain distracts from the euphoria of the journey itself.

Using the restroom is an equally dicey proposition. As for other roadblocks in the bedroom, oral sex is often a nuisance.

For Jordan, the threat of these clumsy conversations looms heavy in his head.

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