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Even though it's getting more popular, talking to women online isn't that easy. Although, when trying to start conversations, there are some proven things that work.

I'm going to share with you some of the things that I've learned to get you talking, and possibly meeting, women. So, listen up! I'm going to help you boost your game and give you proven openers that get women talking to you like nothing else.

I'm also going to give you some tips on engaging in conversation. First, I want to give you the scoop. Some girls like the feeling of having a lot of guys talking to them.

But there are also a lot of women who are on online dating sites because they would actually like to meet someone. They don't just want an online friend and they're not on there to boost their ego.

So when you're trying to start conversations, remember that everything you do should move towards meeting in person and taking things offline.

I used PlentyOfFish because it was free. I was NOT going to pay to do online dating. I still use it time and again when I'm bored, probably like some women do.

I actually got so good at conversing that I got to the root of why some girls don't want to meet up. Some girls really are scared to meet up with men from online dating with a site like POF, where it's hard to really know who you're talking to, and I don't blame them.

POF is so risk-free it actually becomes a little risky, especially for women. On other sites that you pay for, like eHarmony and Match.

They even go through a confirmation process to validate your identity which makes it more comforting to women. So if a woman doesn't want to meet up, there are a million reasons why that could be.

She might be busy, in a relationship, out of town, recovering from bad experiences with men, or nervous.

The problem isn't necessarily you. Don't get hung up on it, and just move on. These are the ones that have worked really well for me, but here are some other pointers in case you tried these already or you want some other approaches to test out.

Getting a girl to respond to you on Tinder or similar sites is less about relationships and more about the game. Most women are using it to have fun, so have some fun!

If you can make them laugh, then you're in. Don't forget to make a good profile too see end of article. This section will give some general guidelines for starting real conversations with women online for sites like OKCupid, POF, eHarmony.

It's a little more than just trying to pick them up. Below you'll also find some more approaches and examples both of what to do and what not to do.

For sites that are more known for people looking for relationships, it's best to try some other kinds of approaches, which will vary depending on your age, where you live, and who you're trying to meet.

Remember that this is just a guide and not a law. Here are some approaches you can try:. Example: A cup of coffee turns me from a grumpy morning person to a happy morning person!

My favorite spot is Philz. Have you been there? An opener like this shows that you read her profile and saw that she likes coffee.

You also gave her an easy question to answer if she wants to continue the conversation. Example: I went to school in Boston too!

I loved running on the Charles in fall. It was so beautiful. Also, I'm going to be a little bold here. I'm going to a dodgeball tournament with my friends on Monday night.

Want to come? You seem like the kind of girl that might be into that sort of thing. Whoa whoa whoa, you say. Isn't that too fast? Not at all.

Many women online don't want to stay there. Show them that you've read their profile and then say something like "This is a little bold, but.

It works best if it's a group hangout. You can combine it with a drink beforehand, making it really effective to find out more about who they are as a person.

Let's say a woman who now lives in Austin, TX says she's from Montgomery, Alabama and talks about how much she shamelessly loves country music:.

A sample message could be: Why shameless? Country music is God's gift to mankind. Have you been to Alamo? This shows the girl that you read her profile, and then gives her an easy question to respond to.

Yes or no. As a bonus, if she hasn't been to that bar, then you can invite her to go out there. Example: Talk Spain and tennis with me over whiskey in the city?

I enjoyed your profile : Tom. This message is genius. It shows the girl that you read her profile, have an idea of things she'd like to talk about and where she'd like to go, and introduces you to her.

If she wants to meet up with you, she'll say yes and you'll exchange numbers. If she doesn't, then you won't waste your time messaging her. There are some approaches which seem to be really common that actually don't work at all.

Learn them, avoid them, and move on. Here they are:. This is a pretty common conversation approach, which is like you'd use if you were meeting a stranger in real life, so you say "Hi" or "How's your day been so far?

This is definitely better than some other ways of talking to women online i. It doesn't show that you've taken any time to read her profile or figure out what she might be in to.

It's a really easy message to pass up, and unless you're Brad Pitt, she's probably not going to respond. If you really want to use this approach, at least use an unusual greeting with proper grammar, like "Howdy" or "Oh hey there.

This approach, like the above, is not so bad, though you probably won't see much success with it. Just like in real life, it's a little boring to just intro your name and then ask them how they're doing.

They hear that kind of stuff every day. It's also easy to cut-and-paste this kind of message and when it's not even that interesting to start out with, it'll be easy for a girl to ignore.

Another problem with this approach is that you have to get from the awkward "hello we are both strangers" to going on a date with them.

That's probably going to take more messages than you want to send or she'll want to respond to. This could be anything from a "Would you rather.

They're bad for two reasons. One is that they sound like you Googled "good ways to start conversation with women" and went with the first one you saw.

Two is that they don't actually get any closer to you meeting up in person. Instead, you'll know that she'd rather die by razorblades than in a fire.

How useful is that? It's not. Use questions and information that tells her about you and lets you get information about who she is.

Like I mentioned above, women tend to ignore questions that start out with a physical compliment and you can safely assume that they'e already received dozens, if not hundreds, of similar messages.

Make them feel interesting. You, by proxy, will also seem more interesting. Messages about how you're new to online dating and are not really sure how it works are boring.

First of all, they focus on yourself and your own lack of confidence and they make her feel awkward because now she has to reassure you that it's okay.

She doesn't want to be your mom. At worst, she'll also assume she's strange for trying online dating too. Similarly, don't ask women how long they've been doing online dating.

Those kinds of questions lead nowhere. Why does it matter? First messages that critique a woman's profile might seem cute, but they're just really annoying.

No one wants to go on a date with someone who will be their judge for the entire evening. If you like her, talking about noticing her spelling error might be the perfect thing to bring up on your 20th date, or never.

Take an extra minute and send her a message that shows you read her profile and are interested in her specifically. You might think this will make you stand out as "not one of those guys," and it does.

Unfortunately, it makes you into a different kind of guy, one that doesn't get a response to his message. Sure, most people know that women tend to get a lot of messages from men and that some of them are ridiculous.

That fact, however, has nothing to do with you and her, and really nothing to do with her. So why are you asking it? This is kind of a tricky one.

In some cases, you can tell a girl that you liked her profile and it will totally work for you. In others, it just makes it sound like she passed a test, and tests aren't fun.

Saying something like, "You have one of the best profiles I've seen! No woman wants to be reminded that they're just another one in a crowd. Similarly, giving a woman "bonus points" if she likes something that you do or can guess something about you based on a hint you placed in your profile makes you seem like you are always testing a lot of women and that they're just another dumb girl you're putting through their fool-proof test.

None of these are good ways to start out with someone you think is attractive. Avoid messaging each other for too long.

Pick a date and a place and go for it. The conversation part is where many people hit a wall. They either send too many messages and the conversation dies off before they get a chance to meet in real life, or they push for a date too soon when one party isn't ready.

The best advice for engaging in conversation is to stay positive, ask her specific questions about herself with information you got from her profile, and ask for a date as soon as possible within three messages.

This is why the best openers start with a combination of showing the girl you read her profile and are interested in her and introducing yourself in a way that make the girl feel comfortable.

Keep it simple! The more words you say, the more likely you're going to say something stupid. Remember, you're going to make mistakes, and that's okay.

The important thing is to make sure that you learn from them. The opener is just part of the equation.

If you have a killer opener but your profile looks like a dud, the girl's not going to message you back.

If you want women to talk to you, you gotta look like someone worth talking to. I've seen too many disastrous profiles that make guys look undateable.

This is something that can happen even to good guys who are "just trying to be themselves" in online dating. Your profile picture is the first thing a girl's going to see when she sees your message, so make it count!

It also appears in a lot of places on most dating sites and will definitely be your first impression.

Your profile picture should be a pic of your face, nothing else. If it's blurry, if you're wearing sunglasses or a hat, if the picture is too dark, it's likely going to be a pass for her.

Ideally, you'd also be doing something and looking away from the camera but a nice photo will do as well. If you think that this is the perfect time to be holding a dog or a puppy, think again.

If you love dogs or have kids, she'll learn about that in your profile. OKCupid had a great blog post about how to find your best face for online dating.

Some of the main takeaways:. Pictures of you doing something you love will help women understand more about who you are. They're better than the bathroom selfie.

For the rest of your photos, you'll want at least one clear body shot and some pictures that give a hint as to who you are and how you spend your time.

Do you have hobbies? What do you do with your friends? Don't post too many pictures of you with alcohol or with other women. Those can give the wrong impression.

If you're not proud of your body or your face, use the photos as a way to show off your personality and something that you are proud of about yourself.

If women feel like they don't know what you look like or that you're hiding something, they will almost certainly not agree to go out with you.

It's also a good idea to test out a couple of profile pictures and rotate them every two weeks or so. What you think is a great photo might not actually be that attractive for the women you're trying to attract.

Also, stay recent. All pictures should be within the last six months or so, maybe a year. If you don't have any recent pictures, this is a great time to go do something fun with your friends and have them do a photo shoot with you.

Remember that kid in middle school with the weird name that everyone made fun of? Consider this round two.

Choose a profile name that talks about your interests or how you define yourself. Putting a little thought into this will go a long way.

Avoid anything sexual, cocky, or stupid. Filling out your profile description can be daunting. If you think it's hard, you're not alone.

Tons of guys don't know how to talk about themselves or do it in a way that sounds attractive. Luckily, there are some proven ways to make yourself look good when you're trying to tell strangers who you are.

Don't talk about how awkward you feel filling out a profile or say anything like "I don't really know what to say or how this online dating stuff works.

That's not how you want to come across, is it? As tempting as it may be, you shouldn't lie about the hard facts.

Don't say you don't have kids if you do. Don't say you're a lawyer when you're a paralegal. Should you end up meeting a woman in person, it will be hard for her to accept the fact you lied to her even if she might have liked you otherwise.

Dishonesty is a turn-off. That said, if you occasionally smoke but wouldn't mind giving it up, it's okay to say you don't smoke. You know if you're being deceptive or not.

Don't lie about your profession. If you're not proud of the way you made money, instead emphasize where you want to be in a couple of years or what your goals are.

That shows that you're driven and that you have a plan for your life. Women are into that. Be open about your intent. If you actually want to meet someone, don't be shy about saying that.

Two prominent leaders in the online dating business are eHarmony and Match. Both offer a variety of methods for creating potential matches and each claims its share of success stories.

Open an eHarmony account by going to the website and completing the preliminary registration form. You will be asked for your first name, gender, relationship preference, zip code, country and email address.

Complete a personality questionnaire that will focus on "key dimensions of personality that are scientifically proven to predict happier, healthier long-term relationships.

The questionnaire will take approximately 60 minutes to complete. Read the "About Me" information for each match you receive after answering the questionnaire.

This is the first step in a four-stage process that will allow you to learn more about these women. You will not know a woman's identity until she is ready and comfortable enough to reveal it.

Ask each of your matches five questions about her personality. Your questions should be simple but informative.

An example question suggested by eHarmony is: "If you were taken by your date to a party where you knew no one, how would you respond? Send an email using eHarmony Mail to your matches with a list of "must haves" and "can't stands" which reveal what you are looking for in a relationship.

Examples suggested by eHarmony include: "I must feel deeply in love and attracted to my partner" and "I can't stand someone who is belittling or hateful to people.

Ask your matches three open-ended questions. They can explore any topic you wish. You can choose your own questions or select from a list that eHarmony provides.

This is the last stage of communication eHarmony requires and you will then gain unlimited access to eHarmony Mail.

You will be able to chat online with the person you choose to make your girlfriend. Open an account at Match.

You will be asked to provide your email address, date of birth, country, zip code and relationship preference.

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